Melancholy Morning....

It has been a kind of down morning for me today... I have been spending a lot of time thinking about my family lately -- and mind you I have a great family -- but in some ways it makes me sad because I have lost contact with some members of my extended family.

Lately I have been spending a lot of time thinking about my sisters, Allison and Jessica. I haven't seen or heard from them in about 4 years. I miss them so much! They are 10 years younger than I am, so we are in very different places in life. The girls stayed living with their mother, Sandy, when I moved out and she told them some nasty, untrue things about me. I had hoped that they wouldn't listen, but they were little. Over the years I tried to keep in contact with them when they moved in with their dad. But as they entered high school their lives got busier and I moved to the back burner....

It's a bummer! I miss my relationship with them.... They are missing out on some great times with their nieces and nephews..... I want my kids to know them!

I guess I am in a nesting phase, and no I am not pregnant! What I mean is I am in a stage where I want my family close and I want them in my children's lives. I want all of my family to enjoy this time with us and I want to be involved in their lives. I know we are all busy, and that it could be hard, but I want it. Is this to much to ask!

I have been trying for a few months now to track the girls down, but thus far I have been unsuccessful. I have tried Google, myspace, facebook, old e-mail addresses, I have even asked their dad for contact information and nothing has work thus far.

I know that they still have a relationship with Sandy, which I do not have, so maybe they don't want to have a relationship with me? Maybe I am trying to hard? Maybe the Lord is trying to protect me from getting hurt again? Maybe there are too many maybes!

I miss my sisters!