What are we up to?

So I know that I have dropped off the blogger planet the last little while, but I have been busy! So here is a run down of what we have been up to....

Jesse:
- Working hard
- Working
- and more Working
- Keeping the fire going while we had no power

Chris:
- Studying for finals
- Aiding the ailing at Clinicals
- Shopping for the Holidays
- Wrapping
- Getting over illness after illness
- Finishing the semester with a 91.58%!
- Trying to keep the house running
- Working for the College

Aidan:
- Talking up a storm
- Playing with lots of toys
- Trying to be nice to his sisters
- Waiting patiently to go back to school
- Saying hilarious things such as "That is ridiculous" and "That is not appropriate"

Cora:
- Loving school -- before the power outage
- Playing
- Trying to be nice to siblings
- Giving lots of hugs
- Decorating and redecorating the Christmas Tree

Haylee:
- Giggling
- Playing, of course
- Enjoying the snow
- Perfecting the art of undressing, apparently clothes are overrated!

So I think that sums it up! It has been a roller coaster the past few weeks as we lost power during the ice storm for four days and had to move to Mamie and Pa's house since they have the fire place. It was a good practice of our emergency plans and with little exception it went off without any problems.

And as I write this it has started snowing again...it is very pretty...I just hope that the roads are safe for Jesse to get home from work OK.

Anyhow, we would like to wish everyone a very happy holiday season and we hope that you and your families are safe and joyous time together!

I don't want it to shut down, I want it to shut up!

So I am a slacker, well not really... I have just been out straight crazy busy with the kids, school, family, life... you know! Anyway I thought I would just give you all a general life update, so here we go...

1. The kids: So the kids are all doing great! I had a meeting at Cora's school last week and they are going to increase her program days, she will now attend school 4 mornings a week. She is excited to get to take the bus almost as much as Aidan! Speaking of Aidan, he is great! He is loving school and is getting to be such a little man. He loves to have computer time (he enjoys the games at pbs.com), though we try to limit this activity. So the other day his computer time ended so I went and shut down the computer and he looked at me with his little puppy dog eyes and said, "Momma I don't want the computer to shut down, I want it to shut up." Needless to say I laughed uncontrollably the rest of the day! So that leaves Haylee....she is growing up way to fast! She is incredibly independent and has no problem letting you know what is on her mind. Though I must say she and I are enjoying having 4 mornings a week with just the 2 of us!

2. School: Have I told you lately how much I LOVE school? Well I do! A couple of weeks ago I started a Hospital clinical rotation and I am having a blast! There is so much to do and learn there! As for the course work -- there is a lot! Lots of reading and paperwork and exams! Although I took my midterm last week and I was happy to learn that I earned a 94%!!! YEAH!!!

3. Work: I am still working part-time at the college. I really enjoy working there, but I have had to cut back on my hour to just a few a week. I work with great people and our whole job is planning and running programs for the students to have fun! How could you not love that?

4. Jesse: Let's see, Jesse is doing OK. He is still working both jobs and it is starting to take a tole on him, but he is a trooper. He is excited, he leaves for hunting camp tomorrow. He will be gone for a week, which will be tough for me, but he will have fun and needs his yearly break!

5. Family: There has been so much family stuff going on!! We will start with my brother Rick -- he came home from his mission a couple of weeks ago and looks great! It has been so nice to have him home again! As for Danny, he left a week after Rick got home and headed to Utah! He seems to be having a good time, but we miss him at home. Then there are my Sisters, Allison and Jessica. Many of you may know that I have been trying to get back in contact with them for awhile now. Well we finally found each other and have been communicating via e-mail for a month or so now. It has been awesome to have them back in my life again! I have missed them so much! This past weekend I was able to actually go and see both of them and it felt awesome! It was so natural for all of us to be back together again, although it is a little strange for me to see them all grown up! They are my little sisters after all and will always seem "little" to me I guess! I only hope that we have many more adventures together and NEVER lose contact again! I am hoping that they come over for dinner this weekend, we'll see!

I think that is it in a nut shell, and i have to get Aidan ready for school. Here's hoping life settles down a little bit -- although I have had so many blessings during this hectic time, that I don't want to lose those either! Oh, well...

Fall in New England

I LOVE FALL!! It is my absolute favorite time of the year! The leaves are changing -- and the are just beautiful this year, it is cool and crisp outside (just cool enough for a sweater), and of course there is the apple picking and all of the festivities that go alone with that!

Well today we headed to the Applecrest for a beautiful afternoon of apple picking. It was a great family outing and it wasn't too busy, so the kids got to run around and of course pick apples!!

It was a blast, and a miracle happened..... I got all three kids to sit next to each other, look in almost the same direction, and smile!!

I LOVE MY LIFE!!!

10 Things I Never Thought I'd Say...

10. Aidan we do not use our sister's as chairs...
9. Our underpants go on our legs, not our head...
8. If Mommy doesn't give it to you on a plate it does not go in your mouth...
7. Aidan, the walls are for looking at, not for writing on....
6. Cora get your feet out of your mouth...
5. Kids Ketchup is for eating, not for painting...
4. Aidan, we don't pee on Haylee...
3. Haylee, we don't color the van with chalk, only the ground...
2. Haylee we do not pick other people's noses...
1. Cora, we don't suck our toes at the table...

What are somethings you never thought you would say?

I got a 94.29% People!!

So my first month of Nursing school is over -- and I survived!! I can't believe how much we have crammed into 1 month! Let's see.... we have mastered the art of taking vital signs, we have learned how to do head to toe assessments, we have learned about our legal responsibilities, we have learned about our ethical obligations, and we have actually started to do clinical rotations!!

As for the clinical rotations -- I am currently assigned to a Long-Term care facility... otherwise known as a nursing home. And in the 2 weeks that I have been there I have learned two VERY important things:

1 - I do not no matter how desperate I ever get for a job, want to work in long-term care.

2 - Under no circumstances will any member of my family ever move into a long=term care facility!

No those may not seem like big things to you -- but they are big to me! I really do not like this place. They treat the residents like they are toddlers -- the residents are dictated their schedule each day (told when to get up, what, when , and where they can eat, they all have to wear diapers to bed, etc...). I will be glad when I am done with this round and I move onto the hospital!!

The other thing that happened this month was that we had our first exam in my nursing class. And I got a 94.29!!! Whoa hoo!!! I think this is a great way to start off the semester don't you??

Frustrated!!

So I was happily going along trying to clean the house this morning, when the door bell rang. So I go answer the door and there are 2 gentlemen who want to discuss religion with me. Now I was tempted to just shut the door and go about my day, but I thought about my brother who is finishing up a religious mission in Nevada -- so I opted to listen to what they had to say.

So I let them speak. In the process of their speech they would periodically ask me a question -- now here is why I am frustrated -- as I would attempt to answer their question they would cut me off and not listen to what I had to say!!! Now, I try to respect everyone and listen to every one's opinion -- the LEAST these gentlemen could have done was listen to my opinion and my answers before telling me I was wrong..... and they did tell me I was wrong over and over again! I listened to these gentlemen for almost 15 minutes! For me that is a long time, I'm a busy person....

If they were trying to get me to convert to their beliefs they went about it the entirely wrong way! Insulting me, telling me I am wrong, and not respecting my opinion will NEVER get me to believe in what you are saying!!

OK, now I feel better -- time to go back to cleaning and homework....

Just Surviving...

So I know I haven't written in almost two weeks, but a lot is going on and I am in survival mode! I don't think I can do one more thing if I tried -- so I am sorry my dear blog... I promise that from here on out I will try my hardest to write daily, well maybe weekly, actually monthly, Oh I don't know.... I'll write when I can!

For know here is a run down of of what has been going on the past few weeks...
-> School Started -- so I have survived my first few weeks of school. It has been going alright, I am still a little overwhelmed but I am hoping that that will pass soon.
-> I have been in touch with one of my sisters. Jessica and I have been swapping e-mails back and forth. It was the highlight of my year to hear from here and to get back into contact with her!
-> I have been working. I love my job, it is so much fun to work with Student Activities, and since it is the begining of the semester we have had a few activities for the students that have been a great success.
-> I have a new title at work. I have been named the Presidential Student Ambassador Student Coordinator for the PSA program at school. I am excited to be working with the program since I had a great time as a PSA.
-> I have also joined the Student Senate. I wasn't going to but I miss being involved in student government and there are some issued on campus that I would like to be involved in addressing.
-> We are trying to buy another car. Now normally I wouldn't think that this would be a big deal, but since the banking industry has gone down the tubes over the past few weeks, buying a new car has become an interesting and frusteratingly long process -- with any luck this will be completed this comming week.
-> I also have a couple of friends getting married in the next 2 weeks so I have had to try and find outfits to wear to the weddings -- and let's just say that shopping is not necessarily my favorite thing to do!
-> Homework.....I know I already talked about school, but I feel that homework needs its own category! I have had no less than 300-400 pages of reading to do each week along with other assignments for my nursing class. I am not used to having THIS much work -- so it has been a big adjustment.
-> And let's not forget that I am a Mom and I have 3 kids that need attention also!

So, it has been busy. I am trying to handle all of this as best I can! I will try to keep the blog updated as best I can, but I make no promises!

Yummy Stuffed Zucchini

So I volunteered to make dinner for a family in my ward, but I had no idea what to make. So a few days before I opened the refrigerator to see what I had and then dived into my numerous cookbooks.

I had been given a ton of zucchini so I started with the "Cooking with Zucchini" cookbook that my grandmother gave me that was published in 1977! In that book I found a recipe for stuffed zucchini that sounded yummy -- so I took that recipe and adapted it to what I had in the house and the outcome was fabulous! So I thought I would share my adapted version of this recipe...

Stuffed Zucchini
3-4 medium or 2-3 large zucchinis halved lengthwise
1 lb. ground beef or ground turkey
1 large onion chopped
1 lb. fresh mushrooms chopped
4 drops of hot sauce
Salt & Pepper
1/4 tsp Worcestershire sauce
1 jar spaghetti sauce
3/4 cup diced sharp cheddar cheese
3/4 cup diced string cheese (I know this is odd, but it is what I had!)
Grated Parmesan cheese

Parboil zucchini in salted water for about 5minutes and drain. Scoop out and reserve the pulp leaving 1/2 to create the shell. Chop reserved pulp and set aside.

Brown meat in skillet. Add onion and mushrooms and cook until brown and tender. Keep cooking until all of the liquid cooks off.

To the meat ad the zucchini pulp, hot sauce, salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce, and spaghetti sauce. Simmer for about 15 minutes.

Add cheddar and string cheese and mix, the cheese does not have to melt.

Spoon the mixture into the shells and sprinkle with the Parmesan cheese.

Bake in a 350 degree oven for about 15 minutes.

Enjoy! Everyone who tried this thought it was great! So try it!

Happy Labor Day!

We decided to embrace the beautiful day and take the kids fishing when Jesse got home from work tonight...

After about 5 minutes it escalated to this....

And that quickly spiraled into this....

In the end we all had a great time! The kids got to go swimming in their clothes -- I wasn't prepared....again... Jesse got to go fishing, and I got to just sit and enjoy the peacefulness of the lake! It was a GREAT afternoon!!

Bad Start to the Day...

It has been an interesting day -- let me bullet point the highlights of the day for you ....
- Sleep in about a half hour
- Get kids up and in the tub (Jesse gave them the actual bath)
- Dress all three kids and do their hair and feed them breakfast while Jesse gets ready
- I go to get dressed and I can't find my skirt -- have to settle for a different outfit
- Try to blow dry hair and smoke pours out of blow dryer
- Get everyone loaded in the car 15 minutes later than when we needed to leave
- Get caught behind a slow driver on the way to Church
- Within 200 feet of the Chapel driveway, Aidan gets car sick and throws up all over himself
- Strip Aidan on the side of the road
- Realize I do not have a change of clothes for Aidan
- Finish drive to church -- all 30 seconds of it....
- Put on one of Cora's shirts on Aidan and wash out his pants and then proceed to wave them around for awhile in order to get them to dry
- Finally make it into Sacrament Meeting -- we won't go into any more detail about that - but let's just say it was not one of their better days
- Leave Church and head to Shirley and Ted's camp to pick up some vegetables
- All 3 kids eventually end up in the lake -- in their Sunday clothes!!
- Come home and get everyone changed and cleaned up
- Man I really could have used a nap
- Walk to my parents house and have an enjoyable evening with my family topped off with Blueberry Pie!

So all in all I guess the day evened out -- since it ended on a good note!

Melancholy Morning....

It has been a kind of down morning for me today... I have been spending a lot of time thinking about my family lately -- and mind you I have a great family -- but in some ways it makes me sad because I have lost contact with some members of my extended family.

Lately I have been spending a lot of time thinking about my sisters, Allison and Jessica. I haven't seen or heard from them in about 4 years. I miss them so much! They are 10 years younger than I am, so we are in very different places in life. The girls stayed living with their mother, Sandy, when I moved out and she told them some nasty, untrue things about me. I had hoped that they wouldn't listen, but they were little. Over the years I tried to keep in contact with them when they moved in with their dad. But as they entered high school their lives got busier and I moved to the back burner....

It's a bummer! I miss my relationship with them.... They are missing out on some great times with their nieces and nephews..... I want my kids to know them!

I guess I am in a nesting phase, and no I am not pregnant! What I mean is I am in a stage where I want my family close and I want them in my children's lives. I want all of my family to enjoy this time with us and I want to be involved in their lives. I know we are all busy, and that it could be hard, but I want it. Is this to much to ask!

I have been trying for a few months now to track the girls down, but thus far I have been unsuccessful. I have tried Google, myspace, facebook, old e-mail addresses, I have even asked their dad for contact information and nothing has work thus far.

I know that they still have a relationship with Sandy, which I do not have, so maybe they don't want to have a relationship with me? Maybe I am trying to hard? Maybe the Lord is trying to protect me from getting hurt again? Maybe there are too many maybes!

I miss my sisters!

Counting Down the Days....

I have been reading a lot of blogs lately that talk about how hard it is to watch your children go off on the first day of school -- I don't feel that way! I can't wait for that little yellow school bus to pull up and for Aidan and Cora to get on....

OK, so I having a bad mom moment, can you blame me??? They have been out of a structured school program for a few weeks now and to say it has been rough would be an incredible understatement!! I know they can't help it, I know it is just the Autism, I know it in my head -- but sometimes it just all gets to be too much!! Know what I mean?

I can't wait till school starts in 12 days! At that point the structure will back in place and with any luck the behavior will come back into check also!!

Of course, I am also counting down the days till I am back in class. I start a week from today and I am getting a little nervous! There is going to be so much work and reading and clinical rotations -- that I am not entirely sure how I am going to fit it all in! I'm sure I manage...... somehow!

Canning Excitement!

So I have never been much of a caner. I remember watching my grandmother canning pickles and relishes when I was really little, but the love of canning was never really sparked in me. Well that was until this weekend!

My grandmother gave me about 8 grocery bags of vegetables from the farm near her home -- an me not wanting to waste any of them decided that I should ask for her beloved pickle and relish recipes.... and to my surprise she gave me them!

So today I embarked on my first pickle making adventure! I cannot share the excitement that came from hearing the jars "pop" as they sealed! It was great!

The came out looking like I remember.... lets hope they take like I remember!! The other jar had dehydrated summer squash in it. Again, not wanting to waste the bag of summer squash, way more than my family will eat right now, so I went on a quest to find the best way to preserve it. The best I found was to dehydrate it. And I hydrated some today and put into my taco meat for dinner and I couldn't tell the difference between the fresh and the hydrated! So at least now I feel like I am helping out, in ever the smallest way, with my mom's family food storage.

Tomorrow I am making Piccalilli -- which is like a green tomato relish -- and canning that to add to the food storage as well.

Here's hoping it all tastes good!!

A Boy, A Dad, and A Pole...

Aidan got very upset on Sunday when Jesse went fishing without him....so when Jesse got home from work tonight we had to go buy Aidan his very first fishing pole. And of course you can't buy a fishing pole without going right out and using it!!

Unfortunately it was starting to rain -- so they got some practice casts in on the front lawn! Aidan was VERY excited and ran in the house and said "Momma, I did fishin's!!!"

I guess we have a new obsession to deal with!!

A Whole New Me!!

Let me start by saying that I honestly considered just moving into the sap on Saturday! I LOVE it there so much -- it is peaceful, relaxing, and oh so calm!!! But I promised pictures so here they are!!

So here it is from the front....

From the side.....

A bad shot of the back, but you can kind of tell that it is much shorter in the back!

And let me just say that I absolutely LOVE it!! And it is really easy to style so it is right up my ally!! I am even considering leaving it short for a while! We'll see!

What is new???

I was really skeptical of the Ped Egg when I first saw it a few months ago, I mean come on it just looks dumb! But, man was I wrong!! This sucker actually works! Now mind you, it does NOT, I repeat does NOT replace a wonderfully relaxing pedicure at your favorite spa -- but it will do for those pesky in between callouses that build up! The best thing about it -- it is only $10!

In other news, I have finally finished my Microbiology class. I must saw that this has been one of the longest 8 weeks of my life!! And the hardest class I have ever taken!! Though I have been told that it will probably be the hardest class I ever take, so hopefully it goes up from here. But I worked hard and I earned an 'A'!! From what my instructor e-mailed me I am one of only five who did so out of two classes!! So needless to saw I an relieved that the class is over -- and terribly excited that I did so well!

In fact to celebrate, I am going to the spa tomorrow! YEAH!!! I am going to go get a "Spa Haircut" -- yes I am cutting all of my hair off to donate (I'll post pictures later). And then after that I am having the "Eyes Alive" treatment. I am believe I have a pedicure scheduled after that also! I can't wait!! I am hoping to come home relaxed -- although I am sure that won't last long because Jesse has to work tomorrow night so I will be coming home to caring for the kids, who are out of school by the way! AARRGGG!

Oh, well I will definitely enjoy it while I can!

A Swimming We Will Go....

We had such a great day today!! First, when we woke up this morning it wasn't raining, YEAH!!! And second, Jesse had the day off from Wal-Mart today so we decided to have a family day until he has to go to Dominos.

So what is there to do when the sun is out and Daddy is home? Go to the beach of course!! So we packed all of our bags up and headed over to Kingston Lake (we wanted to go the the ocean but we did have the gas and there is just too much running room at the ocean)!

Aidan was very excited about the ducks and chased them around the beach saying, "Come here ducks, come here duckies, come play with me!!" It was very cute! Unfortunetly the ducks didn't want to play with him...

Apparently Cora felt the need to "water" the lake, maybe she felt it wasn't wet enough!!

Haylee LOVED the sand! Digging, throwing, and yes -- even eating the sand! Eventually she headed over to the lake and plashed around. Everytime I looked over at her she just had a great big smile on her face!!

Jesse was a good sport and had fun with the kids in the water. He even got Aidan to go out all the way up to his neck and helped him float -- it was great to see!

All in all it was a great day! Though I must say that I think it is time to buy some new sunscreen -- even though we all had SPF 50 on we all came home a little pink!! Oh, well -- at least I have aloe in the frid

How dare he!!

Where do some people get off!!! I received an e-mail today and this was the subject line --

"99% of Autism cases are brats who haven't been told to cut the act out. "

This quote was given by a nationally syndicated radio talk show host (you can read all about it at http://mediamatters.org/items/200807170005).

Things like this aggravate me! This gentleman obvious has never had to deal with a family member with Autism, he has never been in a position where he couldn't communicate with his child, he has never seen his child intentionally hurt himself, he has never had to fight for his child to get an education, he has never had to face the realization that there is a chance that his child will never live a normal productive life! HOW DARE HE!!

I take great offense to comments like this because he is talking about my children! If it were as easy as telling the child to stop -- don't you think we would have done that Mr. Savage -- please give us parents some credit! I have and will do anything for my children -- and I do not let my children walk all over me as you propose Mr. Savage!

I have to most incredible children, and even though 2 of them have Autism -- they are some of the most artistic, analytical, and outstanding children! I love my kids with all that I am and they teach me something new almost everyday - can you say that Mr. Savage? My kids rock and my life wouldn't be complete without them -- even with their Autism!!

Eternal Reflection

In Church yesterday the unofficial theme of our Sacrament Meeting was having an Eternal Perspective, which got me thinking --

About things that seem big and troublesome now that don't matter when you think eternally --

-- A broken window

-- A house that is messy for a few days

-- Arguing Kids

-- Autism

-- Homework

-- 2 - 6 more years of college

-- Working 2 jobs

-- Getting a bath while giving 3 little ones a bath

-- A lawn needing mowing

-- Not seeing a brother for 2 years

-- Worrying about a sibling's decisions

-- Yucky humid weather

-- Missing deceased family members

-- Feeling there isn't enough time in the day

-- Not getting enough sleep

-- Only having 1 car

-- A broken computer keyboard

-- Loosing a shoe

-- Dealing with Jury Duty

-- Forcing a screaming child onto a school bus

I know I could go on forever! Yesterday made me realize that our time here is short, an though we may have times that are frustrating and we may not have everything go as we would like -- in an eternal perspective our time here is short! I have a feeling that if I can keep the "eternal perspective" maybe little things won't bother me as much and I can better appreciate the time that I have in the here and now and cherish the time that I have with my family, friends, and especially my 3 little ones!!

I survived...

I have survived my first Microbiology exam!! I should probably explain that this class meets Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday from 6-9:30! Also this class is only 7 weeks long. I knew I was in trouble when the first night of class the teacher stated that she usually teaches this class in 16 weeks and she decided that she was not going to cut out any information -- she is just going to cram it all into the 7 weeks!!! So we had our first exam and I got an 83, which is OK. I am really hard on myself and it has been a long time since I earned a B -- but considering I had 27 typed pages of notes all given in 5 days I think I did pretty well.

Only 3 class exams, 2 lab practicums, 21 lab reports, and 4 1/2 weeks left!

Good News Day!

I have been a little panicky lately as I get closer to starting the nursing program in the fall -- not because the program starts soon, but because the program is costing me a fortune!! Let's see some of the bills I have already paid --

Uniforms (for 2) $175.00

Physical $352.00

Lab Work/Shots $775.00

Sneakers $48.98

Blood Pressure Cuff $50.00

Shade Shirts $48.00

I haven't even received my tuition bill yet and we have been told that books will exceed $800!! YIKES!!!

Well in the mail today I received a letter from NECC stating that I am the recipient of the NECC Leadership Development Scholarship for $500 and the NECC Leaders of Today and Tomorrow for $250. So I was very excited about that! But wait, it gets better.....

A few minutes later I logged into my e-mail and I had an e-mail from the Coca-Cola Scholars Foundation that informed me that I have been awarded their Volunteerism Scholarship for $1000!!!! YEAH!!! These scholarships will cover almost all of my tuition and hopefully the grants I applied for will cover my books!! What an incredible blessing!! It has been a good day!

I've had it, I'm done!

On days like today I wonder why it is I ever had children? Why did I work for so long and pray so hard for children? Why?

I know that my children have "special needs" but I am tired of it. I am tired of the fighting, I am tired of the screaming, I am tired of the throwing, I am tired of things constantly being broken, I am tired of feeling like I am talking to a wall, I am just tired!! It is one of those days where I just want to sit in a corner and cry!!

The fact that they are out of school and they don't have that strict academic schedule, and they don't have their behavioral specialists and their occupational/physical therapist doesn't help the situation. I would love to be able to just bring the kids outside to play -- but I can't because they all go in different directions and I can't keep tabs on them all and it is way to dangerous in our neighborhood! I have used ALL of my things in my little bag of tricks and they don't go back to school for another week!!

So this is what faced me when I tried to put the kids to bed today.....yes it is a broken window! It is the window that is right above Cora's bed. I mean really, was it really necessary for them to break the window? Then I tried to tape it up (you can kind of see it) to make it safer since I have no idea how I am going to fix it, and they pulled the tape off!!! I am so frustrated!

I don't know how much I have left in me to keep dealing with this crap!! I'm tired, I have had enough -- and of course things like this always happen when Jesse is at work -- not that having him here would really change anything since he sleeps most of the time know and I still have to deal with the kids.

Does every mom have these days? Does it pass? Is it just a bad day?

Patience Has Run OUT!!

I usually consider myself to be a patient person -- when it comes to the kids that is. But they have been out of school for a total of 5 days now and they are DRIVING ME CRAZY!!

Why is it that they need to throw every toys they own down the stairs, while dressed in six layers of clothes (none of which are the clothes I dressed them in in the morning), while screaming like a band of wild animals? Why is it that it is necessary to find a full bottle of baby powder (that was on the top shelf of the hall closet) and pour it all over the bathroom so that when I walk into the bathroom I inhale a cloud of powder and then proceed to slipp on the powder on the floor and fall? Why is it that they feel it is necessary to pull the sheets off of all of the beds and draw on the mattresses? Why is it necessary to argue and hit one another non-stop? Oh, did I mention that this is all from this morning?

Usually I am patient and can handle what ever they throw at me, but this morning I felt like just assuming the fetal position and crying myself to sleep!! Thank goodness I had to work today and I have class tonight!!

My only fear is -- what do they have planned for the rest of the week and a half to school starts again!!!!!

Father's Day

There are two men in my life that have the honor of celebrating father's day -- Jesse (my husband) and Gary (my dad).

I'll start with my Dad -- I know that almost everyone thinks their father is the greatest, but mine really is! To start with he was able to put up with Sandy (my biological mother) -- this alone deserves a medal! Second, I don't remember him ever saying anything negative about anyone in front of me as I was growing up. Third, when I moved in as a very independent teenager, he gave me the freedom to rediscover who I was and he supported me in making me a better person. Fourth, I can probably count the number of times I heard him yell on one hand. I love my dad very much and in many ways I credit him with literally saving my life and rescuing me at a time when I needed rescuing! I could go on and on, but most of all, my dad is an incredible example to me! He is strong, compassionate, a worthy Priesthood holder, kind, loving, funny, a hard worker, generous, caring, as well as to many other superlatives to list!

Jesse is an incredible father. He would do and does anything for his kids! He works hard to give us the things we need in life, and he is not shy about getting down on the floor and playing with the kids. He has little routines that he does with each of the kids so that each one knows that he loves them individually. I know that as the kids get older they will say that he is the best dad in the world, and though I think he is a great dad -- I will always argue that my dad is the best!!

On a side note....

We were celebrating Father's Day at our house this evening and came time for dessert, we were having ice cream, my conversation with Aidan went as follows --

"Aidan do you want dessert?'

"Uh huh."

"Do you want some ice cream?"

"Yeah ice cream!" (at this point he did a little dance around the room)

"What kind of ice cream do you want?"

"Cold kind"

Well I guess I can't blame him, who wants warm ice cream!!

He Did It, My Baby Brother Did It!!!

He did it, he really did it!! Danny graduated from high school today! I am so proud of him! I can't believe my baby brother has graduated, I feel really old! For many people their sibling graduating is no big deal, but Danny and I are 12 years apart in age -- so him graduating makes me feel old!!!

But this has not been an easy road for Dan.... He has battled more than I can even imagine! Things have never come easy for Dan and he has really had to overcome some major obstacles -- but with much prodding, pushing, and love from my parents he has accomplished a big goal in life and NO ONE can take that away from him.

I can't say that there wasn't a tear in my eye when I watched him walk across that stage and get his diploma, Danny and I haven't always had a close bond (we are working on that and have gotten closer over the past few years) but even so I am incredible proud of him and his marking this milestone!

When we got home after graduation I gave him a big hug and congratulated him and at that moment we were both thinking the same thing -- "the only thing that would make this better if were Rick were here." But in my heart I know that he is thinking of Dan today. He is with us in our hearts and I know that he is diligently serving the Lord in Vegas.

Way to go Dan, I am so proud of you and all of the struggles that you have faced have only made you stronger! I love you!

Thinking Abount my Little Ones...

I have a couple of friends going through a tough time trying to start a family and seeing their trouble got me thinking about my little "darlings"....

As most people know I had a really hard time getting pregnant; we tried for a couple of years -- both on our own and with fertility treatment -- all to no avail. I remember those years vividly! Man were they tough -- not only physically but really tough emotionally. I remember just crying and crying every time the test can back negative, I remember not feeling adequate enough, and my self esteem was shoot!! I mean women are born to carry children and give birth, so what was wrong with me -- why can't I have a child. I remember feeling like Heavenly Father was punishing me and my heart hurt ALL the time! Now mind you I rarely shared my feelings with anyone and when anyone asked I when we were having kids I would just smile and say that we were too busy working or that we weren't ready yet... not many people new the pain behind those questions!! I remember praying and praying and crying and begging Heavenly Father -- just to be disappointed the next month. I'm sure this time was difficult for Jesse too, but I think it probably hit me a little harder! Now in the grand scheme of things a couple of years isn't that long -- but when your in the thick of it it seems like and eternity!

Eventually the money for the fertility treatments ran out and I had to come to terms with never having children -- as this is what many doctors told me -- I must say coming to terms with this was the hardest thing I ever had to do. I felt like I was a failure at being a women! Looking back on that time I probably should have been on an antidepressant!!

Then it happened -- I remember the day very vividly! It was 4th of July 2003 and we were preparing for a cook out at our apartment in Barrington. It was a very hot day, high 90's and very humid and we had no A/C in the house. I was in the kitchen making a salad and I got very light headed and felt like I was going to pass out -- I attributed it to the heat. So we went on with the day and I spent the day sitting in the kiddie pool trying to stay cool. Jesse had to work the overnight shift that night so when everyone left Jesse went to work and I went to bed. It popped into my head throughout the day that maybe I was pregnant, but I wouldn't let myself believe that it could actually happen -- after all every time I got my hopes up in the past I would just get crushed! So I had 1 pregnancy test left in the house -- for the stockpile that I had during all the fertility stuff -- I tossed and turned all night debating whether I was going to use it or not. At about 2 in the morning I got us and just took the test. Instantly the 2 lines appeared!! I just sat there in the bathroom in shock -- could it really be positive, had all of my prayers finally been answered, was I dreaming!! I jumped up to call Jesse at work and as the phone was ringing, Jesse walked into the house! He said that something told him to come home -- so I ran to him and thrust the test in his face.... once he realized what it was we both stood there crying. It was great!! The following March we welcomed our little man into the world.....

I know he is older here -- we didn't have a digital camera when he was born....

Little did I know when I had Aidan, that Heavenly Father was opening the flood gates for our family! Three short months after having Aidan we found out I was pregnant again and Cora joined the family in March 2005. Yes, Aidan and Cora are exactly 12 Months and 5 Days apart...

At least Aidan and Cora were a little bit older when in May 2005 we found out the we were expecting again, and in January 2007 Haylee came into our lives --

Sometimes I joke that we prayed to hard and that is why we had 3 children in 4 years -- but in my heart of hearts I know that all of the trouble and problems that I had trying to get pregnant made me stronger and made me a better person so that I could be a better Mom! I also know that Heavenly Father knows what is best for us and that he does answer ALL of our prayers -- sometimes just in the time frame that He feels is best for us and not when we WANT the answers!

A Kid Free Afternoon...

Oh, it was a great afternoon! I was actually able to spend a large part of the day with my Mom without any kids! We really didn't do anything exciting -- our original plans fell through. We ended up going to a few yard sales and running some errands, and going out for lunch. Even though it was what many people think of as thrilling -- it was GREAT!! You know as a mom when you have given all you can give and you just need to refill yourself? Well I had hit that point and spending the day with my Mom filled me back up!

Mid-Year Resolution

So I am not very good with the whole "New Years Resolution" stuff, so I didn't make any this year. But I have decided to make a Mid-Year Resolution instead. You see, I have a physical scheduled for Monday morning with a new doctor and I am not really looking forward to it! So I figure if I prepare myself and start my mid-year resolution to get healthier, than maybe I will feel better about my appointment. I know it sounds crazy; but I was also thinking that if I am put in a clinical setting where I have to talk to patients about being healthy and having a healthy weight, I think it would be uncomfortable since I am not at my ideal weight either. So we will see how this adventure plays out!!

Holy Savings Batman!!

I have to share about my grocery shopping trip tonight....

So Jesse came home from Domino's with $52.00 in tips -- that money had to go to groceries and gas, so after we talked about it we decided to cash in our loose coin to help out this week. So I went to Shaw's and cashed in the coin to the tune of $65.00.

As I was walking away from the coin machine, I said a little prayer in my head that everything would be OK and that we would have enough money for both groceries and gas and off I went shopping. I usually keep track of the total as I go so that I don't go over my budget, but tonight I didn't. So I went through Shaw's and got everything I needed and I made sure that I used as many coupons as I could.

When I got to the checkout I wasn't really paying attention, until the cashier looked at me and told me that the total was $139.00!!! I was panicked and then I remembered that I hadn't given the cashier my Shaw's card and she hadn't done any of my coupons yet.... phew!! So after my card was swiped and my coupons scanned my total went to $66.91!!!! Can you believe it! I got all of the groceries that I needed and still had money to get the gas I needed!

I always marvel at the Lord's hand in my life! It is amazing to me how if we are open to Him, He will provide and make sure that we are all taken care of!! The only thing I can think of is the primary song "Count Your Blessings", and it was definitely a day to count my blessings!!

Boston

I had the opportunity to go to Boston yesterday with the Presidential Student Ambassador Program that I am involved in at school. First of all it was a gorgeous day! There was a nice sea breeze and it didn't rain which was great!
We took the train in from Haverhill and then headed over to Copley square and had lunch a Boco on Newbury street. They are this little burrito place that has all sorts of wraps and smoothies and they have an incredible homemade guacamole! It was yummy!
Then we walked over to the Boston Public Library and walked through the Choosing to Participate exhibit. The hole exhibit was about people who chose to participate and stand up against the wrongs in there life from genocide in Cambodia to the Little Rock 6, to the Racist activities in Billings Montana in the early 90's. The part of the exhibit that hit me the most was there was a wall with pictures of immigrants from their teens to early twenties who were telling their immigration stories. There were three that were particularly moving to me... The first was a girl from Chechnya. Her family had to move a few times when their homes kept being bombed by the Russian government, at one point the soldiers came after her father who was in hiding and they kidnapped her and the rest of her family and held them captive until her father surrendered. After the surrender her family escaped the captures and had to be smuggled out of the country in a cardboard box in the back of a shipping truck. When I first read this I thought to myself this couldn't have been recently -- but it all occurred in the late 90's!! Another story was a boy and his family that immigrated from China. His father brought the family here for a better life and so that his family could have more than one child. His father had a PhD in his country and the only job he could find in the U.S. to support his family was cleaning the local high school. The last story was of a girl from Israel who was a senior in high school. Her goal was to graduate from high school here in the States and then go back to Israel to join the army. She just felt that the persecution and the limited resources for immigrants in this country was too difficult to overcome.
The whole exhibit was eye opening for me. I think I take the fact that I am an American citizen for granted! I don't feel like I have had to deal with any of the same issues that many of these immigrants do, and for that I am very grateful! I am very blessed and this exhibit made me realize how blessed I really am!
After the exhibit at the library we walked over to Boston City Hall and walked through the Holocaust monument. For those who haven't seen it, all I can say is that you need to!! One the glass spires are inscribed with the identification numbers of the six million people killed by the Nazi's as well as quotes from some of the survivors. The quote that hit me the most was by a women who was in a concentration camp with a friend and her friend found one raspberry as she was working one day -- and this is what the women says about the situation -- "What if your only possession in the whole world is one lone raspberry, and you give that raspberry to a friend." This quote was truly profound to me, because how many of us would be willing to give up everything for someone else -- even when we ourselves are in a dire situation. It just made me think.
We ended our day with dinner at Pizzeria Regina in the North End, which was fabulous! And you can't go to the North End without getting pastries, so we had Chocolate Mousse Cannoli's and Lobster Tails from Mike's Pastries and both were amazing!
All in all it was a fabulous day and I am grateful that I had the chance to go!!

My Little Escape Artist

I know that Aidan is a little escape artist -- there were many a times of me running out in the snow after him.... he learned how to open a door at 10 months and how to unlock the door by 1 year. So it was an exciting time when he is at school and I can actually attempt to get things accomplished with out worrying about Aidan getting outside and running down the street.... that was of coarse until today!

You see, Aidan went to school and I put Haylee down for her nap, and Cora was engrossed in Sesame Street -- so I though it was safe to get dressed ( I had a meeting at school otherwise I probably would have stayed in my jammies ) -- I was WRONG!!

So there I am half dressed in my bedroom when I hear Cora's giggle outside my bedroom window. Now I think to myself, "That's funny, it sounds like Cora, but it can't be she is downstairs watching T.V." So I quickly finish getting dressed and head downstairs to find the front door open and the screen door unlatched!

I begin to panic and run outside to see Cora running up and down the driveway -- giggling all the while as if nothing was wrong!! Needless to say, she was NOT allowed to stay outside!

Apparently I can't even get two minutes to get dressed anymore! Grrrrr! They don't stay little trouble makers forever do they?

Week in Review...

It has been an interesting week...but when isn't it an interesting week in my house!?!?!?

Let's see Jesse and I returned from our big weekend away on Sunday evening, exhausted, and by Monday morning I was sick! I think it was just allergies but I completely lost my voice. Do you know how hard it is to get 3 toddlers to listen to you when you can't talk or when you can get your voice to work you sound like a smurf on helium? I must have looked like a lunatic as I tried to come up with ways to get their attention so that they would listen... you know the clapping, jumping around, waving the arms....not one of my prouder moments... but at least by Friday I was feeling better.

Let's see what else happened....um....oh, Aidan has learned to put on his socks!!! YEAH!! I know for most people this isn't a big deal, but for me it is huge since we have been learning how to do this fr about a year now... this means that he is completely capable of dressing himself, with a little prompting of course...

Also I finished my semester at School on Thursday night. I am pretty sure that I earned a 4.0 this semester which is great! I an just looking forward to a few weeks off from school, my summer classes don't start till June 16. I love school, but it will be nice to have a little break!

Cora attended her first Gymnastics class on Saturday and she LOVED it. She was laughing and running it was great! She made up until the last 5 minutes of the class without having a meltdown! That must be a record! She was scared of a lot of the activities, but I modified them so that she would do them and she had fun. It was also a big day for Aidan because he was in the same class but he has taken this class before. The last time we were enrolled in this class a few weeks ago, Aidan did really well except he couldn't make it all the way through warm ups without running away at least once and he usually didn't make it through all of the station rotations without running away at least once....but on Saturday he made it through the warm ups and all of the rotations without running off and without many promptings from Jesse to return to task!! The only thing he really had to prompt about was for Aidan to wait his turn and to not cut in front of the other children. It was such a nice morning!

Then of coarse yesterday was Mother's Day and Aidan greeted me in the morning with a very loud "Happy Mofers Day, Momma" which made me smile! It was also great because I made my Mom a great gift this year. I took a picture of Rick, Dan, and I and I super imposed a Poem that I wrote over the picture and gave it to her, it made her cry....it was great! If any of you get over to my Mom's house you should ask her to see it -- I'm proud of it.

And then of coarse because it was Mother's Day we got to talk to Rick on the phone! It was so great to talk to him. Though talking to him makes me realize how much I miss him! I know he only has 5 months left on his mission, and that that time will go by really fast, but I miss my little brother and I want him home know and I want him to live in the area and not go back out west!! OK, that was my little selfish rant -- but he sounds really good on the phone, and I know he is doing the Lord's work and he will be home in no time!

Not Ready for Reality

This is where Jesse and I spent this past weekend (I didn't take this picture, it came from their website)...
We stayed at The Mount Washington Hotel in Bretton Woods, NH. It was amazing!! I wish I had brought my camera -- it was so beautiful. There is this gorgeous wrap around veranda that looks right at Mt. Washington. It was spectacular!
The Family Support Conference that we attended while there was great also. We took home some great techniques to try with the kids to help them stay calm as well at tips on how to try and make it easier for them to learn. It was also great to meat other parents and families dealing with disabilities. We also were able to meet a women named Karla who works for the state and was sympathetic to our story and our long wait on the respite waiting list -- so she gave us the phone number to a gentleman who may be able to bump us to the top of the list which is great!!
But back to the hotel... we had a great room, with a very comfortable pillow top bed -- I think it was the best sleep that either of us have gotten since Aidan was born!! And the hotel is full of history and romance -- they even still have to old elevator working with an elevator man! The whole weekend I felt like I was in a different time.
Neither Jesse nor I wanted to come back to "the real world" so we took our time coming home, meandering through the mountains.
It was a bit of a rude awakening to come home though. Back to the screaming, back to the sink full of dishes, back to the piles of laundry, back to cleaning the house, back to worrying how to pay the bills this month, back to cooking dinner and making snacks, but most of all -- back to the life I wouldn't change for anything!!

Vacation!!

So Jesse and I haven't had a vacation with just the two of us since our honeymoon almost 8 years ago.... in fact we haven't spent anytime away from home together with the exception of the time in the hospital when I had the kids!! So imagine how excited I am that we are going to a conference this weekend at the Mt. Washington Hotel!!! YEAH!!! What makes it even better is that we got a scholarship to go so that the conference and the hotel room are all taken care of!!!! I am so excited to get away that I am already packed!
But of course, just about anything that can go wrong has gone wrong so far this week.... Where to start, we Cora and Haylee were sick ALL last week -- I am so sick of cleaning up puke -- but they have been puke free since Sunday which is good, but Haylee started running a fever on Monday afternoon -- ARGGG! I think it is from teething though, she has 4 teeth coming in on the top so she is very unhappy!!
Let's see, Cora has entered into her naked stage! Many of you may remember that Aidan was in this stage for a VERY long time -- I hope Cora doesn't last that long. I must of dressed her at least 10 times today and each time she would run upstairs and strip!
And then there's Aidan... I think he is just missing the routine of school. Vacation weeks for him are always difficult for us, although I am impressed that it took him till today before he lost it... but we have made it to the half way point in his vacation so now we enter the downward spiral until it is time to return to school -- not my most favorite time in vacations....
Finally, the van is on the fritz...it is not running well at all! So it is going into the shop on Friday --- we are praying that it will last that long --- and we are going to get a rental for the week so that Jesse can still work since we will need to money to pay for the van repair....
Oh, what a week -- but at least there is a light at the end of the tunnel!!

Experiences...

Isn't the hand of the Lord just amazing? I love when I can look back on an experience and see the Lord's work right in front of me!

I had a cool experience tonight that exemplifies these thoughts...

I ad a really long day that ended in a headache, but I still had to drop some things off at my parents home -- so Jesse volunteered to bring it down for me so that I could go to bed early (such a great guy) but I said no, I needed to return it since I borrowed it. But in actuality I just felt like I needed to go over there.

So I walked down to my parents house and they had the missionaries over with an investigator (who I have known for many years) -- so I drop off the book and mentioned that I still had a ton of clothes from the clothing swap if they knew of anyone in need. So the investigator stated that she could use some clothes for her son -- so I walked home and got my van with all the clothes in-- and I thought for sure that their lesson would be over by then, but when I got back they were still teaching the plan of salvation, so I sat to listen in.

Towards the end of the lesson the investigator asked a question about her and her son being sealed together and how that isn't possible unless she gets married and her son can be sealed to her and her husband. So before anyone could answer I felt that I really needed to speak up about my experience of not being sealed to my parents until I was 21.

Sharing that story not only answered the investigators question but I feel like the spirit really spoke to her! It was also amazing for me to share my feelings about the whole things in front of my mom and dad ans grammy (Pauline). The spirit for that one question, to me, just overwhelmed the room -- so much so that the missionaries ended the lesson! It was awesome and I am so glad that I listened to the little feeling I had -- because I know that the Lord wanted me there at that time just to answer that one question.

It was AMAZING, what a spiritual high!!!

Ouch!!!

Oh, my goodness it has been an interesting Monday!!

Let's see, it started by Haylee waking up after vomitting all over herself, YUCK!! I'm not a big fan of puke -- I mean my gag reflex has gotten better since I have had kids but still YUCK! She continued being sick all morning, the poor girl couldn't even hold down water!

Then at about 11:15 I get a call from the nurse at Aidan's school....he wasn't sick, but he did fall backwards out of a chair and hit his head on the corner of a bookshelf. Luckily Jesse worked an overnight last night so I had the van, because at that point I had to go pick up Aidan at school and head to the Emergency Room at Exeter Hospital. Thank heavens he was tired from being so upset so the ER visit was not nearly as bad as it could have been, considering they stapled his head closed -- up, an actual staple. Although I must say we were in and out in a little over an hour which isn't that bad.

Then I get home with Aidan to find Jesse on the couch complaining that he's not feeling well. Though I shouldn't be surprised -- he usually doesn't get enough sleep and ends up sick EVERYTIME he does the shift change....one would think that after almost 10 years at Wal-Mart he would learn that it is not smart to do these shift changes!

It has definetly been a MONDAY!!

Blessings

I have had the awsome opportunity to reconnect with a close friend from my time at UNH this week and in doing so it forced me to think about the past 8 years and how my life has changed since I last saw Ryan. Thinking about all this time really made be think about how blessed I am so I want to take a few minutes to acknowledge how blessed I really am!

1. My Husband. I have an awsome husband! He is suppotive of all of my nuerotic tendencies! He is the first in line to tell me that I can do EVERYTHING that I want to accomplish in life; and he is also the first one to tell me that I need to sow down and regroup. He is truely my soul mate and my eternal companion!

2. My Kids. I am so blessed to have all of my children! I was told at one point that I would never have biological children, and that was after I had gone through over a year of fertility treatment! My kids amaze me everyday, there is always something new and amazing that they discover and to be able to watch the light of learning go off for my children is just....AMAZING!

3. My eternal Parents and Siblings. I know many people say that they have the best family -- but I really do! My mom and dad are amazingly supportive yet they keep me very grounded. And my little (I use that loosely because they have out grown me) brothers are such examples to me! Rick put his life on hold to go on a mission and serve the Lord and that is such an example of following faith and just doing it! And Danny is such a strong person, more so than he gives himself credit for. He has battled through so much and each day is a struggle for him -- but he pushes through and I admire that in him!

4. Autism. I know at this point you think I have lost my mind but I haven't. Having 2 kids with autism is hard. But it has forced me to become an advocate for my children and their needs, it has also taught me how to be a better parent and how to teach principle in different ways, and it has taught me how to be more patient and how to look at every person as an individual and to adjust my perspectives to fit the needs of every individual.

5. Continued Learning. I am so blessed to be able to have a family that is supportive of me so that I could return to school and pursue a dream! I LOVE learning and I LOVE pursueing my dream!

These are only a very small list of the blessings in my life --

Blessings are amazing, but I think all too often they are over looked or forgotten so I am truely thankful for those times in my life when I can sit back and be grateful for every blessing that has been bestowed upon me!

The Innocense of Children....

Don't we all wish we could just watch the birds out the window all day without a care in the world? I think Haylee has the right idea!

Boys Will be Boys

It was such a beautiful day out yesterday that I took the kids out to play...we used chalk on the sidewalk and driveway, we ran around the house, we even pulled out our bicycles!

We were riding bicycles in the driveway when Aidan suddenly disappeared --- know where he went???

Apparently he had to go potty -- I had just taken the extra potty out of the van and it was in the garage -- so I look up to see Aidan dropping hid drawers in the middle of the garage to se the potty....did I mention the garage door was open and half the neighborhood was playing on the street?!?!?

At least he thought to go use that potty rather than having an accident -- what am I going to do with that boy!?!?!?

A Morning in an Autism Household....

Have you ever been so frusterated that you just had to sit there and laugh histerically? That is how today started for me. Here Let me explain.....

You see Aidan in his autistic mind has to take things apart and see all the pieces. He likes to try and figure out how things work, and touch ALL of the componants -- whether it is a toy car, the wheel barrel, or the bed.

Cora on the other hand, her little autistic mind doesn't like things taken apart. She likes things neat and tidy, she likes soft and cuddly things, and definetly does not like metal wirey things.

And Haylee, just likes to watch what is going on around her -- it is like her littl emind has already figured out that if she doesn't participate then she will not get into trouble....

Well in their bedroom there is a set of bunkbeds that Aidan and Cora sleep in, there is a toddler bed that Haylee sleeps in, and there is a crib set up as a day bed that their stuffed animals sleep in -- and that is about it since Aidan had taken apart and broken almost everything else or we have moved everything else to the playroom.

Can you see where I am going with this??

So I heard the kids up playing in their room around 7 this morning, so I slowly made it out of my bed and collected averyone's clothes for the day and got a tub filled with water so everyone could start the day nice and clean -- I took my time because the kids usually play for a while in the mornings.

Soon I could hear Cora screaming and throwing an all out fit and I could also hear Aidan laughing. So imagine my surprise when I opened the bedroom door and saw that Aidan had taken the crib mattress off of the crib and had taken it apart. Yes there was foam, plastic covering, and cardboard all over the room -- infact I found Haylee sitting on her bed UNDER a piece of foam!! And there was Cora screaming on the floor since her foot was touching the metal coals of what used to be a mattress and right next to her was Aidan laughing and having a grand old time -- so proud of his accomplishments -- next to Cora!

I wish I had batteries in my camera to catch the scene!! It was one of those times where I didn't know what else to do but to laugh and try to ignore the situation! I mean what else can you do?!?!

Oh what a way to start the day!

"Moommmma"

I hearby declared that I am changing my name to anything other than Momma!! Cora seems to have the whiney Momma down to a tee and she can't just say it once or twice...no she says it about 500 times! I know that I should smile and be thankful that she is talking to me at all -- but the whining really gets to me!!
On another note, Haylee is getting to be such a littl edare devil! She has decided that she it to big to crawl up the stairs, she now holds onto the railing and climbs up and down like a big girl!! What happened to my baby girl!?!?!?! Cora can't even do that for heaven's sake! Uuhhhggggg.....
THey are growing up to fast, I feel like I just left the hospital with Aidan and that was more than 4 years ago!!! Although I must say that I have decided that I am not getting older, I will forever be in my 20's as the kids get older and more self sufficient!!

Ice Cream

I wa so excited to look out the window today and see the SUN!!! YEAH!! It was finally bright and cheery, I just wanted to run outside and lay on the lawn -- or should I say muddy and stil snowy front yard. I was hoping that the temperature would match the bright sunny mood -- but when I took Aidan out to the bus I noticed that it was very windy and a little cold... but I don't care there was sun!!
I was so excited about the sun that Jesse and I went out for some ice cream tonight -- Norman and Yvette were here playing with the kids -- we ended up going to Stillwell's down the street. It was so yummy! I had a great peanut butter sundae and it was great, wait didn't I already say I liked it....oh, well. But the fun part was the ice cream parlor had a shelf with a bunch of older board games -- you know checkers, snakes and ladders, old maid..... So Jesse and I played a game of checkers and I totally kicked his butt!! It was great!! Anyway it was fun!

It's Been a Hard Week

It has definetly been a rough week for me, especially after having such a good week the week before. Friday was by far the hardest day of the week. First of all it snowed! And I am not taking just a flurry -- we got about 4-6 inches!! So that alone was not a good day to start the day. Second we had to drive Cora to Bedford for her EEG and Nuerologist appointment. To say that her EEG was the most horrific thing I have had to do to a child is an understatement!! It was bad, really bad.... We had to velcro her to the table and them I had to hold her head so that they could measure and place all of the electrodes -- mind you she was totally freaking out during the whole thing! Apparently she could be heard in the waiting room on the other side of the building!! Even just thinking about it is upsetting me four days later.... Eventually they were able to run the test, which came back normal. But when we met with the Nuerologist and chatted about some of our concerns, the schools concerns, and then putting the seizures in the mix, he is going to give her a provisional Autism diagnosis.
So my question is when do I catch a break? I mean isn't one child with Autism enough for one family to deal with? Why do I have two? So as you can see I still haven't over come my why me stage... I'm working on it, really I am. I know in my head that Heaven;y Father wouldn't give me more than I can handle and that all trials are great blessings in the end....but my heart hasn't accepted that yet! It took me a little while to accept it with Aidan also, so I know I will get there! I guess it is hard for every parent when they find out that something is wrong with their child. Who knows, maybe that is why I was prompted to go back to school and become a nurse -- maybe my education will help me to better care for my children as they age?!?
It's just tough! But we are strong and I know in myheart that we will get through it and we will come out stronger in the end from it!!!

I GOT IN!!!

Well it is official, I GOT IN!!! Into the Nursing program at NECC of course!! What a relief, there is one less thing I have to worry about! Of course, there is a list of other things that I have to do know like track down all of my immunizations, get a physical, get certified in Rescue CPR -- you know all the easy stuff.....hahaha. I feel so blessed to have been accepted into the program, since about 400 people applied for just 80 spots....
To say that I am excited is an understatement! It will be interesting to see who else in my anatomy class, if any, were excepted -- we are on spring break now so I will have to wait till next week. YEAH ME!!!

Cora's First Day

So today was Cora's first day of preschool, I'm sure I was more nervous than she was. But for all of my nervousness, she was excited to get on the bus and sith a big smile told me bye as I got off the bus. I would be lying to say that I didn't have a tear in my eye when that bus pulled away.... after all she just turned 3 yesterday!
I told Jesse last night that I would be surpriesed if she was awake when the bus brought her home, well I was wrong she was awake and she was smiling as she was sitting next to Aidan. She came in the house had some grapes and juice and promptly crawled up into my lap and the next thing I know she was snoring away -- out cold -- Haylee couldn't even wake her for a good hour!!
Atleast she went without incident and hopefully she had a good time and enjoyed her day! School has been amazing for Aidan -- hopefully it will do the same for Cora!

Rain

It's raining, need I say more.
I am not a big rain fan, it makes the day so gloomy and yucky! And my van doesn't run as well in the rain. Jesse just called from Dominos to tell me that the van is running "funny" -- so I of course asked how is it running "funny" (why do I even bother - I know the answer that I'm going to get) "I don't know, funny. It kinda does this shaky thing." OK, I give up -- know he is at work I am at home -- what am I supposed to do?!?!
Oh we got the kids some bunk beds today. To say that Aidan was excited is an understatement! He wanted to help put it together and he couldn't wait to start climbing all over it! We will see how long it takes for someone to fall out of it....

Sickness...

Why is it when I am sick, I still have to get up everyday and take care of the kids all day long -- but when Jesse is sick he gets to come home from work and crawl into bed and stay there all day! There seems to be some injustice there, don't you think? I have also noticed that men are very whinny when they are sick! I just want to say -- GET OVER IT! Take some pepto and some tylenol and suck it up like I did!!! But I know that that is not very compassionate and I need to work on that; which is why I have bit my tongue all day and just let Jesse mope and sleep. Someday I'll get to sleep all day uniterupted right?

Did I get in?

So this is the month....this is the month that I find out if I got into the nursing program at school. I know that I have worked hard to keep my GPA up and I know that I studied for months for the TEAS exam, but I am stil nervous! They said that we should know by the end of the month...but for those who know me know that I am not the most patient person, so waiting till the end of the month will be very difficult! Although I should say the the program is highly competitive! The last I hear there wer 450 applications for 80 spots in the program!!! So the odds are not in my favor. I am going to try and let it go, I know in my brain that if it is in the Lord's plan for me that my fussing over it will not have any barring on it -- but like I said I am not that patient! Oh, well.... here's hoping the month goes by quickly!

Kiddos

I know that some family may look at this and I thought that you all may want to see some of the more recent pictures of the little love bugs!!! My friend Brittany took these...

School Vacations

Who ever came up with the concept of school vacation obviously did not have any children! I truely love my children and I love to spend time with them and play with them....But school vacation throws me for a loop!! Aidan thinks he is needs to be the center of attention all the time, oh wait so does COra and Haylee....
Atleast when Aidan is in school I have a shot at getting things done while the girls are sleeping. When school is out nothing, I repeat nothing gets done and it drives me crazy!!! Not to mention, that by day two of vacation all three kids are at each other's throats...
Thank heaven's that the bus will be arriving on Monday at 8:45! Is it bad that I wish I could close my eyes and have it be Monday at 8:46?

Begining the World of Blogging

Well, I have done it....I have decided to add my two cents to the world of blogging. But why? Well in all actuality it is a place that I can hopefully just come to and voice my opinion or give my two cents! I am hoping that it is a place that I can be creative in if I want to or just let out my latest autism issues. I am hoping that this will help me to create a new larger community to support and help in this journey called life! But most of all I am looking for a place that I can gain sanity, a place where I don't always feel like I am losing my mind, a place where I can let my goals be known and maybe share a recipe or two!